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Truth: I only started to accept the fact that I am short and will never grow beyond five foot one and three-quarters of an inch as of last year. For years, I supported my denial by constantly purchasing and wearing ridiculously tall heels.  To this day, when people see me in flats, they say: “Gosh, I didn’t realize you were so short.” I respond by giving them a self-satisfied smirk and saying: “Then my plan has been working. Muahahaha!”

When it comes to fashion, living life as a short person is a series of hem after hem after hem. And there are some things that you just shouldn’t wear together–if at all.  One questionable item for us shorties (Ugh. I wanted to try that word out, but I hate it just as much as I thought I would.)  is ankle pants.  Anything that cuts off above the ankle threatens to make the vertically challenged look like members of the lollipop guild.  Still, the versatility of the ankle pant called to me, and I finally gave in this summer.  However, I place one very strict guideline on wearing them: ALWAYS PAIR THEM WITH HEELS.

And here’s why…

In the photo above, I’ve paired my ankle pants with a classic pair of black pumps and my best I’m too cool for this photo face, and my legs look (a little) longer and leaner. Whereas in the photo below, I’m wearing the same face (ok, maybe a little heavier on the Droopy Dog eyes) with flats, and I look like I just bought a one-way ticket to Munchkinland. The bottom line when it comes to ankle pants: wear heels, not flats.

First it was New York Fashion Week (and the fact that I wasn’t there), then it was finding out that the girl I interned with in college is now the retail and fashion editor for the Wall Street Journal (yea, she’s been on The Today Show) and last week it was a story by Mashable about the rise of fashion bloggers to prominence and profitability in the industry.  Add it all up and it’s the perfect cocktail of discontentment for people like me with stylish aspirations.

As I watch women like Emily, Lindsey and Jessica pursue their passion and realize their dreams (and mine) I can’t help but feel a twinge of remorse at the road not taken. The woulda, coulda, shouldas start and thoughts like “Why did I stay in North Carolina for my Master’s Degree instead of going to Columbia?” or “If only I’d have taken a job in Los Angeles when I moved out to California, rather than taking the safe job in Sacramento”  creep in.

And then I think about days like yesterday.  A picturesque day on the Central Coast of California, where I probably wouldn’t live if I was the magazine editor or blogger I’ve always wanted to be.  A day spent wine tasting with Hubs and 12 of my friends, my biggest worry being whether I want the white or red flight.

Or I remember last month’s excursion to Los Angeles with one of my best friends from college, where I didn’t check my work email one time, watched the  sunset over the Santa Monica pier and ate dinner at the Chateau Marmont–without worrying whether paparazzi were waiting for me outside, as they were for some of my fellow diners, I might add.

If you’re like me, you’re wont to sit around and wallow in the “what ifs” or concentrate on all the things you could be doing with your life if only you’d have done things differently.  But I’m starting to think that I have it all wrong.  I think we, the “Average Janes” of the world, are the lucky ones.  Instead of being consumed with our careers or our public image, we’re free to enjoy life as it happens.  We’re able to be present in every moment because we have the time to be. Because we don’t have anywhere to be. Because we can.

And personally, I can’t think of anything more stylish than enjoying–and being content with–the life we have, while we have it.

Hey Style Geekers! I recently started participating on a guest blogging site, aptly named My Blog Guest.  This means I’ll (hopefully) be guest posting on other people’s blogs and a few folks will be guest posting here.  Below, you’ll find the first of The Style Geek’s guest posts from Sara of Just Eyewear.  Let me know what you think!

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Those who wear eyeglasses should count themselves among the lucky where fashion is concerned. I’ve known a few people who visit their local optometrist to pick up a pair of reading glasses more for the “look” of glasses than for any real need of vision correction. (I may or may not have been one of those people.)

Whether you realize it or not, your glasses make an immediate statement about you; they can make or break a carefully crafted image, so choosing the right frames is essential. You’ll definitely want to choose something that reflects your personality, style, and station in life, as well as something that you will love putting on your face every morning. If your wallet allows, you can even consider getting multiple pairs for different occasions, but even just one pair can say a lot.

Consider who you are and what you do. Are you a student? Do you work as a busy professional? Do you have kids? Do you love the outdoors? Do you want to give people the impression that you are fun loving? Smart? Serious? Trendy? Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing the perfect pair.

Shape

Oval/Round – Glasses that are oval or round are classic and professional. These can be a good choice for anyone who works in an office or who wants to give off an appearance of confidence.

Square – Square lenses are quite popular and look good on just about anyone. Depending on what color you chose (bright colors and geometric designs are especially popular), they can be very conservative or very fashion-forward.

Vintage – Modern frames inspired from looks from the sixties, seventies, and eighties such as over-sized rims and cat-eye frames can be understated and fashion-savvy all at the same time.

Material

Plastic – Many designers today are turning to plastic frames to create unique styles designed in cool colors. Plastic is a very modern choice, whether the frames are classic or trendy.

Metal – Choose a pair of metal frames in silver or copper to stay serious or choose a pair in cobalt blue or bright pink to stand out.

Earth-friendly – Yes, even your glasses can love the earth. Natural materials such as hemp, wood, and bamboo can add accent to plastic or metal frames and create a serious “save the planet” statement.

Color

Neutrals – Neutral colors are classic and will never go out of style.

Bright Colors – Solid, bright-colored frames or patterns are fun and modern. You may want to steer clear of these if you work in a conservative environment, however.

Wearing glasses should be fun. Whatever you choose, you want to make sure that you love them and that they are sending the right message about you.

Sara Roberts writes for Just Eyewear, a discount eyeglasses and prescription sunglasses online retailer.

In the book of Phillippians, chapter four, verse 13, the apostle Paul states “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  That verse has become a buzz phrase in both Christian and secular circles.  Pastors use it to encourage their congregation when times are tough.  Athletes tattoo it to their arm as a reminder that they can win any game against any opponent.

Interestingly enough, both uses are taking the verse slightly out of context. Paul was talking about contentment.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the apostle Paul, the latter part of his life was difficult to say the least: imprisonment, shipwrecks, beatings, starvation.  You name it, Paul went through it.  In his earlier years, however, Paul lived a life of luxury and extravagance.

All of his life experiences taught him to be content no matter his circumstances.  In fact, in Philippians 4: 11-12, he said that he had learned the secret to being content:

“…For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

What is that secret? Doing all things through Christ who gives him strength.

I think it’s interesting that Paul talks about the need to be content in times of plenty.  In my experience, that’s when it’s most difficult to be satisfied with your life.

I walked by my favorite boutique today.  In the window, I saw the prettiest pair of Vince Camuto booties–EVER.  And I wanted them.  And I couldn’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t have them.  After all, I work hard and I can afford them, right? And then I remembered the contentment challenge.  (I know. If it’s this hard on day one…)

Out of nowhere, the words of Philippians 4:11-13 came rushing back.  “In plenty or in want…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Suddenly, I remembered the five other pairs of shoes that I already have in my closet that look similar to those must-have booties. And I walked past the window, got in my car and drove away.

Much like any good story does, this one starts in Vegas.  On the morning of January 28th, I wrote a live blog from the Email Marketing Summit. In the afternoon, I bought THE handbag I’ve been coveting from the Michael Kors store at The Forum; and in the evening, I dressed up and headed out to PURE nightclub where I, along with two of my co-workers, started a dance party. That night, as I flopped into bed with throbbing feet, I realized that day had been the perfect combination of the things I’m most passionate about: technology, fashion and connecting others.

Fast forward to today.  My favorite blogger–Emily Schuman of Cupcakes and Cashmere–is celebrating her third blog birthday.  And to top it all off, she’s writing a book!  (Congrats, Emily!) C&C was one of the first blogs I found when looking for inspiration for The Style Geek and she’s an excellent example of the importance of finding a niche–and writing with it! And that’s exactly what I’ve been trying (struggling) to do with this blog for over a year now.

People often ask me what The Style Geek’s tag line, Fashionable Intelligence for Everyday Life, means–and somewhere between Vegas and today, it all came together.  The Style Geek is a platform for connecting people through discussions about the two things I’m most passionate about: fashion and technology.

And if the tidbits of information that I share with you on this blog help inspire you to find what you’re most passionate about in life, well then, I’m honored and humbled.  So here’s to clarity, content…and oh yeah, relevance.

Words are powerful.  They make us laugh and cry, they inspire us, they spur us on to action. You name it, words can do it.  In my public speaking class, I tell my students to word their speeches in such a way as to evoke emotion.  “You can make the audience feel whatever you want (about your topic), but just make them feel something.”

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on The Style Geek, but I’ve been posting on another blog pretty regularly lately; and in the past 48 hours, it seems my words have evoked quite a lot of emotion.  If you want the full story, read my post here, William’s response here and a question posed by a StackOverflow member here…and then go back a few years to understand the full history.

But the reality is that for the first time in maybe, well, ever, something I posted on the Internet was relevant.  Relevant enough to get over 17,000 page views.  Relevant enough to get people talking. And relevant enough to get me to start blogging on The Style Geek again. (Go ahead. Call me an opportunist.  Believe me, I’ve been called far worse already this week.)

The moral of the story? No one cares what you have to say until it’s relevant to what they care about…or what the media tells them they should care about.  The takeaways from this moral? Find articles, blogs, and current events that relate to things you are passionate about and comment on them…intelligently.  And don’t be afraid to be edgy.  People may not like it, but at best they’ll respect you for saying it.

So hello again, Style Geekers.  It’s good to be back! I can’t wait to be relevant again.

I’m three classes in to my first semester of teaching at a small community college on the Central Coast of California.  My students’ first official homework assignment was due last class period.  One-fourth of them failed to turn in their assignment.  None of the students who neglected their work offered any apologies or excuses.  They simply sat quietly in their desk when I asked everyone to walk to the front of the room and hand me their assignment.  (I’m old school like that.)

My type-A, perfectionistic, would-never-think-of-not-turning-in-an-assignment-personality was flabbergasted.  (That’s right. People still use the word flabbergasted.) I made it clear to all of my students  that this type of behavior was NOT acceptable in the work place and should they not have been prepared for a meeting or presentation in the “real world”, they would have been fired or in some seriously hot water with their boss.

My mini-tirade to my students about work ethic and the working world got me thinking: If I were back in college and had the perspective on life that I have now (nine years later–eek!), what would I want to know? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1.) Make friends with the people you’ll be friends with forever–not the ones who make you look cool now.

2.) Don’t be so concerned with “finding someone.”  Your future mate will come along soon enough, and it’s probably better if you’re a bit older, wiser and more mature once you meet him or her.

3.) You get out of college what you put into it.  Believe it or not, one day you might actually regret that you didn’t do the assigned reading.

4.) Do internships or get a job related to your major during the summer.  It’s the only way you’ll truly know whether or not a certain career is right for you–or not.

5.) Drunkenness is always unattractive. Period. End of sentence.

6.) Do not purchase things on credit.  In fact, don’t even get a credit card in the first place.  The mound of debt you’ll accrue is the worst buyer’s remorse ever.

7.) Decide what you believe (politically, religiously, etc) and learn why you believe it.  Ignorance is also always unattractive.

8.) Don’t be afraid of taking classes you “weren’t good at” in high school.  You CAN learn economics. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.

9.) Don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes you make, because you ARE going to make them.  Say you’re sorry.  Ask forgiveness.  Learn from the situation and move on.

10.) Choose a career path that you love, not the one that will make the most money.  You’re going to spend 40 hours a week–or more– doing whatever job you choose.  You’d better like it.

What about you, Stylegeekers? I KNOW you’ve got things to add to this list.  Share away and enjoy the pics of me during my college years!

How many times have you passed by a boutique window, seen a beautiful piece of clothing and gone inside the store to check it out first hand, only to find that the masterpiece of material would cost you more than you make in an entire paycheck?  You leave the store feeling dejected and disillusioned with all the items you DO have in your closet, focusing all your energy on the one that you can’t have.  Or, even worse, you buy the skirt, pair of shoes, dress–whatever it is–putting it on credit, of course, and telling yourself that you won’t buy anything else until you’ve paid for the thing you just bought.  (Cue buyer’s remorse.)

It’s only been a week since I’ve instituted the shopping ban and already I find myself seeing “stuff” that I want and feeling upset because I can’t have it.  Apparently, my recent cases of the greedy gimmies don’t just extend to clothing.  I saw pictures of a friend’s new house earlier today and was overcome with thoughts of how I could make MY place as cute as hers.  I thought about how to improve my house the entire way home from work; and by the time I parked my car outside my own house (which is very nicely decorated and people say is cute and homey), I felt anxious, upset and frustrated at the thought that my place isn’t as nice as someone else’s.

Fortunately, I’m in-tune enough with my thoughts and emotions to know when something is really wrong or I’ve made up my own problem and put myself in a bad mood (which, I’m sorry to say, happens more than it should).  I knew I had no one to blame but myself for tonight’s sour emotions.  So, I did what any writer in my frame of mind would do: I decided to blog about it.

Feeling less than inspired to write, however, I decided to check out a few of my favorite blogs–hoping the words would come to me.  Boy did they ever.  In fact, God couldn’t have sent the words my way any more directly.  The first blog I read was one written by my friend Jeff Dolan.  The title of the post? Weeding Your Mental Garden.  The first weed Jeff instructed me to pull from my mental garden? Ridiculous expectations a.k.a the “I wants” of life.

In his post (which is worth reading in its entirety), Jeff talks about how the weed of ridiculous expectations causes us to be discontent with everything.  Nothing and no one is ever good enough for the person whose mental garden is crowded with ridiculous expectation weeds: “We let our expectations grow unchecked for so long that things that should blow us away with gratitude only upset and frustrate us.”

I have a lovely two bedroom condo–but the weeds make me want a four bedroom house with my own backyard.  I have a closet so full of clothes I don’t have room for more–but the weeds tell me I’m not truly stylish if I don’t acquire more.  I’m blessed with two jobs;  a husband, parents, in-laws and friends who love me and a gorgeous town to live in, but the weeds tell me I don’t have enough time, my parents live too far away and this town is too small.

At what point do I (we) stop and as Jeff said, “Count (our) blessings, understand the world is not created to serve (us), and see people and things for what they are — broken and man-made”?

I know that surrendering my desire for material possessions (ok, really just clothes) is gonna be a process.  But I’m committed to doing the necessary weeding.  Are you?

I read an article in the New York Times this week about a couple in Oregon who sold almost all of their worldly possessions in an effort to live a more minimalistic lifestyle.  They went from a two bedroom apartment to a 400 square foot studio and from two cars to bikes.  There was no religious or financial motivation behind the couple’s actions, merely a desire to focus more on life experiences and relationships with others rather than the endless distractions that come along with material possessions and the desire to acquire more of them.

As a result of their efforts, the couple was actually able to save money while Logan (the husband) was working on his PHD and Tammy (the wife) was working as a freelance writer making around $30,000 a year.  They were able to pay off major debt and give their nephews and nieces money for college.  They were (and are) also able to travel more and work the hours that they want to work.

The author of the article asserts that if there’s one thing that the recession has shown us, it’s that relationships and life experiences are what make people “happy”–not material possessions.  In fact, one study showed that “wealth interfered with people’s ability to savor positive emotions and experiences, because having an embarrassment of riches reduced the ability to reap enjoyment from life’s smaller everyday pleasures, like eating a chocolate bar.”

In Matthew 19:20, Jesus says “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  I wholeheartedly believe that statement.  In fact, Hubs and I have been noticing lately, just how much the comforts of living a relatively “affluent” lifestyle (compared to people in other countries) has prevented us from serving the Lord and doing a whole bunch of other things we ought to be doing.

Instead of preparing for our bi-monthly Bible study, we watch TV.  Rather than enjoying God’s creation and going on a hike on Saturday, I shop.  Rather than working on that book I’ve been meaning to write or that web app Hubs has been meaning to develop, we mindlessly surf the internet for hours.

So, in an effort to use our time wisely, Hubs and I put a partial ban on television watching for the foreseeable future. In the past two weeks, we’ve watched only one TV program and one movie–and we’ve gotten so much done!  While I still haven’t been blogging as often as I’d like to, I’ve gotten prepared for the Small Group Communication classes I’m going to be teaching at a local community college this fall (more on that later), finished putting together a website for my mother-in-law and spent time planning a baby shower and a bridal shower I’m co-hosting this weekend.

Inspired by the NY Times article and the amount of time and productivity I’ve gained by giving up television, I’ve started to look at other areas of my life where I could stand to “give something up.”  And I keep coming back to one thing: SHOPPING.  (I can hear the gasps and whispers from here.)

Not only is the amount of money I spend on clothing a bit absurd–especially when I see people walking to the homeless shelter by my office for dinner each evening– but the amount of time that I spend planning my next purchase prevents me from doing other, more useful, things with my time.  So, I’ve decided to institute a (partial) ban on clothes shopping from now until December 1 (being sure to remove the ban six days before my birthday, of course).

I often tell myself that clothes are really a form of creativity and self-expression for me; and this (partial) ban on buying new items will give me the chance to mix and match my existing wardrobe in new ways.  Besides, I need to prove to myself that I can put down the plastic and save money!

What about you? What areas of your life can you trim some fat from?  Any of my fashion friends out there care to join me in this challenge? Let me know your thoughts and wish me luck!

*Picture courtesy of Single Parent Bible

Wow. I don’t even know how to start an entry like this.  I found out yesterday that my friend Justin’s sister died suddenly a little over 48 hours ago.  You all might “know” Justin.  He designed The Style Geek.

When someone I know–even just through mutual friends or relatives–passes away, it always causes me to reflect (as I’m sure it does many of you) on life, death and eternity.

Last night, as the girls in my Bible study and Hubs and I prayed for Justin, his family and his sister’s family (I believe she had three small children), I asked myself these questions:

• What am I currently doing to make my time here on earth count for something? Are my actions impacting people positively or negatively?
• How will people remember me after I pass away?
• Where am I going after I die? Where will I spend eternity? This question is, in my opinion, the most important one.  I have full assurance that when I die, I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ.  Praise God!

What about you? How would you answer these questions–especially the last one? Leave your answer in the comments section and if you have any questions for me about how I know for sure where I’m going after I die, don’t hesitate to ask.

Justin- You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today and for the days, weeks and months to come.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalms 34:18