TheStyleGeek.com

Beginning Thursday night, my life was a series of picture perfect moments, starting with a charity event at my favorite spa (where I left with multiple pieces from Heather Gardner’s jewelry line)  and ending with an adorable backyard birthday party for a friend’s little boy. (In case you couldn’t tell from the photo above, my friend who threw her son a birthday party is the same one I threw my friend Valery’s shower with. I know. Her decorating style is to die for.)

In between events, I managed to fit in a date night with Hubs, a long run on the beach and some time to relax and catch up on some reading.  Here are a few of my favorite photos from the past few days.

A close up of my date night ensemble.  The denim jacket dates back 11 years to my senior year of high school and the jewelry is some of my new stuff from Heather Gardner, including the Triple Layer Petite Crystal Ethiopian Necklace and the Petite Swarovski Crystal Necklace.

Hubs has no idea that I took this photo.  Isn’t he cute? In case you’re wondering, I’m using an app called pixlr o’matic for these photo.  It’s available on the Apple AND Android market and has a few cool features that instagram doesn’t.

Hubs and I took dessert to go on date night and were pleasantly surprised to find that Tahoe Joe’s Ski Jump Chocolate Cake comes with it’s very own ski bunny.

And yes, in case you’re wondering, there is more to tell about my weekend.

Last Thursday, Hubs and I went to hear one of my favorite artists, Tyrone Wells play in Santa Barbara.  Since we were leaving right after work, I needed an outfit that would be conservative enough for work yet dressy (read: sexy) enough for a date night.  I decided on my black skinnies and a sheer, red floral shirt from Gap (similar, but minus the flowers here) .  The classic black pumps are something that everyone should have in their closet and the purse, well, I’ve professed my love for it before.

Oh hey, Tyrone Wells and Joe Brooks! Did I mention we had front row seats?

If you ask my college roommates, they will tell you that they are still incredulous that people now ask me for style advice.  In my formative years, I was a cardigan and button-down shirt only gal–often pairing them with khaki pants, no less. These days, my style is a little less “conservative” and one of my greatest joys is helping other people develop their personal style.

To that end, I am going to be starting a series of blog posts that answer reader questions.  This Thursday’s question comes from my friend Carolyn who asked me if skinny jeans tucked into boots are appropriate for a 34-year-old mother or if they will make her look like she’s trying too hard to be “young.”

First, let’s get one thing straight: 34 is not old and being a mom is not a fashion death sentence.

To answer Carolyn’s specific question, though, no,  I do not think skinny jeans tucked into boots are at all inappropriate for 34-year-old mothers.  Since Carolyn is tall and thin, I’d suggest that she purchase a pair of flat boots and pair them with a longer tunic, a jacket or a comfy sweater.

As someone who is rapidly approaching both my 30s and motherhood, Carolyn’s question resonates with me.  Younger styles look good on older Hollywood starlets but often look silly on “older” people in real life. (At this point, let me reiterate my previous statement that 34 is not old.)

While I don’t want to regress back to my days of cardigans, button-downs and khakis (sidenote: there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those articles of clothing, unless you’re wearing them every day like I was), I do want to make sure my clothes don’t cause people to say “who does she think she is.” Here are a few guidelines I like to follow when deciding whether a certain article of clothing is ok to wear or not.  Personally, I think these guidelines are good for people of any age to follow:

• Unless it’s a special occasion, stay away from flashy fads. We’re talking sequins, sparkles, feathers and fur, here, not a brightly colored dress.
• Avoid lycra, spandex and velour.  Exceptions can be made for workout clothes and sweatsuits (which should only be worn at the gym or around the house, I might add).
• Always err on the side of modesty.
• When in doubt, ask your best friend, not your significant other.  Your best friend will tell you to hide the twins, lengthen the skirt and lose the stripper heels.  Your man friend will either lie or tell you to vamp it up even more.

Since Pinterest (my new favorite website) contains endless outfit inspiration, I decided to create a Pinboard to share age appropriate outfit ideas. You can follow all my Pins, or just the board labelled “Always Age Appropriate.” If you’re not on Pinterest and need an invite, just send me your email address in the comment section below, and be sure to send me your style questions too.

Happy shopping, Style Geekers!

Her name was Jean Nugent. I only had the pleasure of meeting her once before breast cancer took her life here on earth; but my initial impression of her as an intelligent, dignified woman was confirmed by the people who knew her best and eulogized her at her funeral this past weekend.   Her sons called her classy. Her friends called her welcoming and humble and her daughter-in-law called her graceful. Her legacy was a one of family, friends and acquaintances who were better people for knowing her.  In a world where reality television serves up images of women willing to do just about anything for 15 minutes of fame, Jean Nugent was the antithesis. Jean Nugent was stylish.

Since Saturday, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the way people will remember me once I pass away.  How do I want them to remember me? Does the way I live my life now align with the latter? If not, what do I need to change in order to leave a positive impact on the people I know?

I’ll surely have more to say about my answers to these questions soon, but in the meantime, I leave you all to contemplate the same questions…

Hubs and I have not been on a real vacation since our honeymoon in Hawaii over two years ago.  So, when we saw a last minute travel deal to Cancun a few weeks ago, we decided to take it.  We leave tomorrow and won’t return until next Saturday.  I’ve packed a variety of outfits, a mound of books (no matter how tech savvy I become, I refuse to get a Kindle. Someone has to pay Linda Librarian’s salary!), and I got a Brazilian Bikini Wax.

I’ll be posting about all of the above later, most especially the bikini wax (which was a hilariously painful adventure) but you can rest assured you won’t be seeing any bathing suit shots like the one above.  This photo was taken the week after my wedding and I had been doing two-a-days and fasting from no-carbs for weeks beforehand to look that good.  I’m scared to put the bikini photos from this trip up next to this photo… So I don’t think I will.  But a margarita on the rocks? Don’t mind if I do.

Style Geek…OUT!

(Until 8/15/11)

This past weekend, I helped throw a baby shower for one of my dear friends, Valery.  People have asked me how I can stand to “act” happy for someone else–even throw them a baby shower–when I’m barely done grieving a miscarriage of my own.  But the truth is, it isn’t an act.  I am genuinely happy for Valery, and I was legitimately honored to have been a part of her special day.

The reality of life is that sometimes you have to choose joy–even when your circumstances tell you that you have every right not to.

The shower was full of special details (including a police escort through the town…because that’s just how I roll) and I thought I’d share a few of the beautiful pictures that my very talented friend Allegra took.

The event was held on the back patio of Gather Wine Bar in the Village of Arroyo Grande.  I’d highly recommend the venue to anyone wanting to host a party in the area.

We chose a vintage airplane theme for the event and thought “Baggage Claim”  seemed like an appropriate place for people to put their gifts.

I wish I could take credit for this impressively colorful spread of food or even the cute, framed menus. Sadly, I cannot.  My friend Melanie made the food and Allegra (yes, the same one who took the photos… her artsyness kills me too) wrote the menu.

Minimal table decorations and floral arrangements gave the table a fresh, uncluttered look and feel.  And while you probably can’t see it too well, we taped the leftover toppers from the shower invitations to a toothpick and stuck them in the sandwiches.

And lest you think I’m lying about my awesomeness. Here’s a little photo of the nice policemen who escorted my friend Melanie and I through the Village (which was closed down for a car show).  Ladies, do not ever underestimate what a few batted eyelashes and the promise of some free drinks can do for you!

My favorite style blogs are the ones where the bloggers post pictures of themselves posing in different outfits.  Yet, despite the fact that I’ve never met a mirror I didn’t love to glance in (Go ahead. Judge me. I judge myself a little.), I cannot bring myself to ask Hubs (who is a very capable photographer) to take pictures of me on a somewhat regular basis.

Last week, however, I did a photo shoot with one of my co-workers in order to have a few professional pictures of myself to spread around the Interwebs.  After looking at the pictures, my inner narcissist got the best of me and I just had to share some of my favorite shots from the shoot.  Hopefully the commentary below will demonstrate just how seriously I take this stuff.

Of note in the above photo: The hand on the hip action.  It’s a technique I’ve been using for years that keeps your arms from looking flabby in photos.  Also, my friend Dani said she didn’t like this photo because it made my legs look too skinny.  I thanked her and said that was the best compliment anyone had ever given me.

Clearly, I’m thinking about how ridiculous it is that anyone would want to read a blog entry with my face all over it. Or someone farted. Loudly.

Do you hear what I hear?

Reader poll: Does this photo say a.) Sexy or b.) Desperate and trying too hard? I believe the correct answer is c.) Pinching a penny between my butt cheeks, which have now fused into one unit.

This is Hub’s favorite photo out of the entire bunch.  Probably because I look so angelic, in a somewhat cross-eyed way. Personally, this is what I envision my wax statue at Madam Tussauds will look like once I become famous. I would also like Rachel Bilson to play me in the Lifetime movie about my life.  I know she can’t act, but at least made-for-TV me will be hot and fashionable!

In all seriousness, I’m really pleased with how the photos turned out, and I can’t thank my co-worker Cory enough for taking them.

I’m gonna say something that may offend a few of you: Clothes look better on fit women.  Now, before you fill my inbox with hate mail, re-read that sentence.  I didn’t say “skinny” women.  I didn’t even say “thin” women.  I used the word “fit,” so hear me out.

If you’ve been around The Style Geek long enough, you know that I struggled with an eating disorder off and on through college and finally kicked its vomit inducing butt in graduate school.  When I moved to California in 2008, I weighed 125 pounds.  An unoffensive number to most of you, but one that was hardly healthy for my petite five foot one and three-fourths (when you’re this short you measure everything) frame. Since 2008, I’ve lost 20 pounds and successfully kept it off.

While my weight loss story is hardly worth writing home about compared to the likes of the Biggest Losers, I’d venture to say that most of you reading this blog identify more with the struggle to lose a muffin than a baby elephant around your waist.  So how did I do it and why should you care?

For once, I didn’t go on a crazy diet. I didn’t even deprive myself of some of the foods I really enjoyed.  The bottom line with any weight loss plan is that you must burn more calories than you are consuming.  Period. End of sentence.  If a person weighing 125 pounds burns an average of 284 calories per spin class and the average slice of pizza has around 250 calories, that means he/she should only have one slice of pizza for lunch.  If there’s 3500 calories in a pound of fat, that means he/she would have to burn 500 more calories per day than he/she is consuming in order to burn a pound of fat in a week.  That’s it.  Simple math.

And simple trade-offs.  If you’re going to have a glass of wine (or two) with dinner, skip dessert.  If you heaped your plate full during the office potluck, have a salad sans cheese with low fat dressing for dinner.  Yes, it does mean occasionally having to go to bed a little hungry (though a glass of hot tea will fill that gnawing sensation); and no, a transformation won’t happen overnight (or, in 7-10 days like some diets that will remain nameless promise), but it will work.  And you can sustain it.

Now, how does this apply to style? Well, as I so boldly proclaimed earlier, clothes look better on people who have a healthy, in-shape physique.  It doesn’t mean you have to look like ready to rock the runway (some of us will always fight the pear) but it does mean that you should put on every outfit knowing that you have done your best to look and feel as healthy as possible.  (Sidenote: Your wallet might thank you as well.  I’m personally less prone to shop when I feel confident that I look good in the clothes I already have in my closet.  If I feel insecure about my body, all I want to do is disguise it with something new to wear.)

And since this is The Style Geek, allow me to suggest that everyone download Calorie Counter by Fat Secret to your smart phones to augment your weight loss efforts.  It’s available for BlackBerry, Android and iPhone and lets you keep a food and exercise diary that automatically calculates how many calories you consumed or burned as well as provides other tools to chart your weight loss.

What about you? What are your tips for staying in shape?

This past weekend, someone asked me how fashion meets technology on The Style Geek.  The truth is, it rarely does; but on the select occasions that I find that perfect blend of geek and chic, I have to share it.  Jones New York’s (JNY) Little Black Book initiative and Empowerment Fund is one of those perfectly sharable mashups.

As far as websites go, JNY’s Little Black Book (LBB) and Empowerment Fund pages are sleek and easy to use.  While, the site didn’t tell me exactly how the concepts began (other than showing you an ad campaign that they say “started it all”), I discerned that the LBB is a place for women from all walks of life to share career advice with one another and the Empowerment Fund grants female entrepreneurs money to pursue their passion.  So far, nearly 330 women have uploaded quotes and stories to the LBB.  (I plan to add to the my own words of wisdom; you can too.)

But in case you don’t want to wade through the LBB on your own, I’ve searched the virtual cornucopia of career wisdom for you and included what I feel to be the best advice out there.  Soak it up, Style Geekers:

“Be nice to other women. Being catty will only hold you back and allow men to move ahead.” – Asma Anwar, Law Student

“My advice to you is threefold. First, if you want to be successful, associate with successful people and help others become successful. Two, knowing what you want enables you to see through and work your way around the bramble to success. And finally, care less about what OTHERS think of you, and more about how YOU think of YOURSELF.” – Aundrea Wilcox, Author and Professional Small Business Advisor

“Your job gives you authority; your behavior gives you respect!” – Chantly Bradley-Brown, Senior HR Business Consultant

“Your personal image conveys more about you than your business card. It positions you in the eyes of others. Although your appearance has to convey that you understand the culture of the business and that you belong to it, it also needs to reflect your personality… If you believe that how you dress doesn’t matter, it probably doesn’t: after all, if you don’t give credence to where you are in your career, why should anyone else? And guess what – if you dress for the job you want, you’re more likely to get it. Five little words (with a big message) to remember: Your image is your brand.” – Cheryl Lampard, Image & Style Maven- Style Matter International

“Think about where you’re going, nevermind where you’ve been.” – Cheryl Young, Sales Rep

“To be truly successful at anything it starts with passion. When you are passionate about what you do the long hours don’t seem so long and hard work doesn’t seem so hard.  Hone your skills; Never stop learning; Keep current; you will always be competitive. Finally, when you look good you feel confident and a confident woman is a successful women.” – Cynde Watson, Makeup Artist/Beauty Expert/Co-Founder of Color By Cynde Watson Cosmetics

“It is not what you say that they’ll remember, it is how you made them feel.” – Genna Armstrong, Business Owner of Sweetsallways, LLC

“…If you are merely surviving at work instead of thriving, perhaps it means you are not in the right field.  Bring passion to what you are doing everyday and set your expectations high. Greatness will forever be out of reach if you are not deeply passionate about what you do. If you don’t absolutely love, love, love your work, you’ll never have what it takes to make it to the top.” -Ivanka Trump, Executive VP or Development and Acquisitions for The Trump Organization

“Don’t fret over your troubles, sometimes you have to be in the wrong place to get to the right place. Finding out what you don’t want or where you don’t want to be is the perfect way to drive you into your passion and your dreams. Experiencing situations and circumstances that don’t go your way help you appreciate even more when something goes exceptionally well, and are also the building blocks of learning, strengthening your foundation, and enhancing your integrity. From all situations, even though you may not see it at first, you learn and you grow.” – Jessica Watson, Principal and Creative Director

“Sometimes you have to puff up and bluff about things. Too often, women feel as though they are not prepared for a task or an assignment and so they don’t go after it. We expect that if we are great at what we do, someone will notice and offer us plum assignments. Well, that’s not always the case. There are times when you have to say ‘I can do that,’ to a boss or potential employer and rise to the challenge. Don’t be afraid. Guys do this all the time and get away with it!” – Laurel Touby, Founder and Senior Vice President, mediabistro.com

“The best advice I ever got was: shut up and listen. It came by way of a well-respected journalist who wrote for the magazine I worked for right out of college as an editorial assistant. He explained that, over a long career of interviewing people, he’d discovered that if he posed a question and the person didn’t answer right away, his natural instinct was to rush to fill the silence with words (the more difficult or challenging the query, the more likely this was to happen), with the result being that the question never got answered.  But if he fought his natural instinct to speak and let the silence hang in the air-if he just sat and listened-the other person invariably jumped in to fill it and often wound up revealing things he/she did not intend to reveal. I’ve used this advice in work-and life-ever since, and find that it’s often put me on the receiving end of some very interesting information.” – Lauren David Peden, New York Correspondent/ Vogue.com UK

“You’ve got to make them pay you as much as you can possibly get…we undervalue ourselves so often.” – Nora Ephron, Writer/Director

“Start with a to-do list every morning. I rewrite mine sometimes 2-3 times a day. I hand-write mine. There is something so satisfying about crossing something off or highlighting it or checking that box, done.” – Rachel Doyle, Founder & President of glamourgals.org

“A look is always attainable. Easy to copy. Anyone can look like anyone else but style is different than fashion. Once you find your signature, you are then showing the world the real you. Find it and Own it.” - Sonya Crew, Web Publisher of beautywired.com

“You can’t have it all. And anyone who tells you that you can is lying.  Take some time to evaluate what is really important to you, and once you decide, pursue it mercilessly.  But remember, your career should never come at the expense of your relationships.  Your accomplishments won’t take care of you when you’re sick, and they won’t mourn your loss after you die; but your friends and family will. Love well.” -Jenn Prentice, Tech and Style Blogger/Public Speaking Instructor/Founder of The Style Geek

Be sure to share your advice in the comments section below and on the LBB.

This weekend, Hubs and I had the privilege of attending the nuptials of our dear friends Steve and Brie English.  Since the “aftermath” of my miscarriage has left me feeling less than attractive and since I did, after all, deserve a present for my surgical procedure, I decided to buy a new dress for the wedding.  Weddings always present an interesting fashion dilemmna for me: While I want to look cute, it’s not MY day to shine.  

The dress I chose for Steve and Brie’s wedding is one of the more “edgy” ensembles I’ve worn to someone else’s big day, but ultimately, I felt confident in my choice.  Here’s a few tips for choosing a wedding style that makes you feel pretty without raising eyebrows:

• Consider the time of the wedding- Evening weddings (those that start after 4 p.m.) tend to be more dressy than daytime ceremonies.  If the reception is going to have you partying well into the night, it’s fine to pull out that new Herve Leger bandage dress you’ve been dying to wear; but if the sun is up for the entire event, you might want to consider something a bit more casual.
• Know the color scheme- If the bride chose royal blue and black for her decorations and/or bridesmaids dresses, don’t even think about wearing the same color.  Dresses with patterns are usually a safe choice for any wedding, unless the linens have a paisley print or something.  Then again, unless you’re under 10 or over 65, you probably shouldn’t be wearing paisley print dresses in the first place…
• Evaluate the bride- Like I said, my dress was a bit more risque than most of the ones I wear to weddings, but I am fairly good friends with Brie and know that she appreciates fun, fashionable attire herself.  I figured she wouldn’t mind me wearing a more adventurous look. If you don’t know the bride very well or if she’s got some self-confidence issues, you might want to tone down your look.
• Avoid wardrobe malfunctions- Weddings mean dancing and if the outfit you want to wear will likely result in flashing someone while on the dance floor, you can leave it hanging in your closet.  In my opinion, dresses that are too short (e.g.- show your panties when you bend over) or too low cut should never have been purchased in the first place, but if you do own them, save them for the club, not the nuptials.