TheStyleGeek.com

This past weekend, someone asked me how fashion meets technology on The Style Geek.  The truth is, it rarely does; but on the select occasions that I find that perfect blend of geek and chic, I have to share it.  Jones New York’s (JNY) Little Black Book initiative and Empowerment Fund is one of those perfectly sharable mashups.

As far as websites go, JNY’s Little Black Book (LBB) and Empowerment Fund pages are sleek and easy to use.  While, the site didn’t tell me exactly how the concepts began (other than showing you an ad campaign that they say “started it all”), I discerned that the LBB is a place for women from all walks of life to share career advice with one another and the Empowerment Fund grants female entrepreneurs money to pursue their passion.  So far, nearly 330 women have uploaded quotes and stories to the LBB.  (I plan to add to the my own words of wisdom; you can too.)

But in case you don’t want to wade through the LBB on your own, I’ve searched the virtual cornucopia of career wisdom for you and included what I feel to be the best advice out there.  Soak it up, Style Geekers:

“Be nice to other women. Being catty will only hold you back and allow men to move ahead.” – Asma Anwar, Law Student

“My advice to you is threefold. First, if you want to be successful, associate with successful people and help others become successful. Two, knowing what you want enables you to see through and work your way around the bramble to success. And finally, care less about what OTHERS think of you, and more about how YOU think of YOURSELF.” – Aundrea Wilcox, Author and Professional Small Business Advisor

“Your job gives you authority; your behavior gives you respect!” – Chantly Bradley-Brown, Senior HR Business Consultant

“Your personal image conveys more about you than your business card. It positions you in the eyes of others. Although your appearance has to convey that you understand the culture of the business and that you belong to it, it also needs to reflect your personality… If you believe that how you dress doesn’t matter, it probably doesn’t: after all, if you don’t give credence to where you are in your career, why should anyone else? And guess what – if you dress for the job you want, you’re more likely to get it. Five little words (with a big message) to remember: Your image is your brand.” – Cheryl Lampard, Image & Style Maven- Style Matter International

“Think about where you’re going, nevermind where you’ve been.” – Cheryl Young, Sales Rep

“To be truly successful at anything it starts with passion. When you are passionate about what you do the long hours don’t seem so long and hard work doesn’t seem so hard.  Hone your skills; Never stop learning; Keep current; you will always be competitive. Finally, when you look good you feel confident and a confident woman is a successful women.” – Cynde Watson, Makeup Artist/Beauty Expert/Co-Founder of Color By Cynde Watson Cosmetics

“It is not what you say that they’ll remember, it is how you made them feel.” – Genna Armstrong, Business Owner of Sweetsallways, LLC

“…If you are merely surviving at work instead of thriving, perhaps it means you are not in the right field.  Bring passion to what you are doing everyday and set your expectations high. Greatness will forever be out of reach if you are not deeply passionate about what you do. If you don’t absolutely love, love, love your work, you’ll never have what it takes to make it to the top.” -Ivanka Trump, Executive VP or Development and Acquisitions for The Trump Organization

“Don’t fret over your troubles, sometimes you have to be in the wrong place to get to the right place. Finding out what you don’t want or where you don’t want to be is the perfect way to drive you into your passion and your dreams. Experiencing situations and circumstances that don’t go your way help you appreciate even more when something goes exceptionally well, and are also the building blocks of learning, strengthening your foundation, and enhancing your integrity. From all situations, even though you may not see it at first, you learn and you grow.” – Jessica Watson, Principal and Creative Director

“Sometimes you have to puff up and bluff about things. Too often, women feel as though they are not prepared for a task or an assignment and so they don’t go after it. We expect that if we are great at what we do, someone will notice and offer us plum assignments. Well, that’s not always the case. There are times when you have to say ‘I can do that,’ to a boss or potential employer and rise to the challenge. Don’t be afraid. Guys do this all the time and get away with it!” – Laurel Touby, Founder and Senior Vice President, mediabistro.com

“The best advice I ever got was: shut up and listen. It came by way of a well-respected journalist who wrote for the magazine I worked for right out of college as an editorial assistant. He explained that, over a long career of interviewing people, he’d discovered that if he posed a question and the person didn’t answer right away, his natural instinct was to rush to fill the silence with words (the more difficult or challenging the query, the more likely this was to happen), with the result being that the question never got answered.  But if he fought his natural instinct to speak and let the silence hang in the air-if he just sat and listened-the other person invariably jumped in to fill it and often wound up revealing things he/she did not intend to reveal. I’ve used this advice in work-and life-ever since, and find that it’s often put me on the receiving end of some very interesting information.” – Lauren David Peden, New York Correspondent/ Vogue.com UK

“You’ve got to make them pay you as much as you can possibly get…we undervalue ourselves so often.” – Nora Ephron, Writer/Director

“Start with a to-do list every morning. I rewrite mine sometimes 2-3 times a day. I hand-write mine. There is something so satisfying about crossing something off or highlighting it or checking that box, done.” – Rachel Doyle, Founder & President of glamourgals.org

“A look is always attainable. Easy to copy. Anyone can look like anyone else but style is different than fashion. Once you find your signature, you are then showing the world the real you. Find it and Own it.” - Sonya Crew, Web Publisher of beautywired.com

“You can’t have it all. And anyone who tells you that you can is lying.  Take some time to evaluate what is really important to you, and once you decide, pursue it mercilessly.  But remember, your career should never come at the expense of your relationships.  Your accomplishments won’t take care of you when you’re sick, and they won’t mourn your loss after you die; but your friends and family will. Love well.” -Jenn Prentice, Tech and Style Blogger/Public Speaking Instructor/Founder of The Style Geek

Be sure to share your advice in the comments section below and on the LBB.

This weekend was one of those rare times in my life when I had absolutely nothing to do.  No papers to grade, no emails to respond to, no shopping, no nothing.  Sometime Saturday, as I was reveling in my nothing-to-do-ness (see photo above), I came to an important realization: My life is completely average, and that’s totally ok.

We spend so much of our time setting goals and striving to meet them.  And don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing wrong with goals or hard work.  It’s the types of goals we set that I find questionable: I want to make a lot of money.  I want to purchase that BMW or that beach house.  I want to be famous. (These are all things I’ve desired at one time or another, by the way.)  I want. I want. I want.

But these wants are all about us, the status we can attain and the things we can possess.

When was the last time you heard someone say “I’d like to continue working at my $50,000 a year job, drive my Ford Explorer until it dies and retire comfortably.”  Rarely, if ever.  And why is that? Because $50,000 a year, Ford Explorers and retirement funds are average.  And the word average has become a pejorative in American culture.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to write a book.  The problem was that I had no idea what I’d write it about. Now that I’m not shopping –or plotting my next purchase– I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands.  I’m gonna need to fill it with something; and I choose writing.  In fact, I choose writing a book.  The title? On Average: A Book For the Rest of Us.  The content? Redefining the word “average” and demonstrating why not achieving success by worldly standards can actually be a blessing in disguise.

Since the Geek part of this blog touches on technology (when I actually sit down and make a post, that is), I’d like the end result of my efforts over the next six months to be an e-book.  People can download it, if they so choose; and I’ll count the number of downloads and market that number to a potential publisher as an “audience” for the book deal they will inevitably want to give me.  (What was that I said just about questionable goals?)

I’ll admit.  I’m about as sure that I can write a book as you guys are.  My track record of posting on here is spotty, at best; and what if I can’t come up with anything more than the title?

I don’t know the answer to a lot of the questions about this project.  But what I do know is that Sara Bareilles writes some catchy songs (You weren’t expecting me to say that, were you?); and I can’t get a line from one of them out of my head:  “Compare where you are to where you want to be and you’ll get nowhere.”  So, follow along with me over the next few months if you want to.  This territory is certainly Uncharted.

I’ve been blogging for almost a year now.  What started out as a Blogspot blog and a way to more fully express my thoughts, found its way to WordPress and became a brand and (potential) business.  August 24th is my official blog-o-versary and over the next month and a half, I’ll be taking some time to reflect on where I’d like The Style Geek to go in year two.

While I could look at the past year’s failures–HELLO, I haven’t posted in 19 days–I’d rather not.  Instead, I’m going to focus on the progress I’ve made over the past 12 months and set some goals for the next 12.

Speaking of goals, has anyone read Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi?  If not, buy it now and read it fast.  For those of you who don’t know Ferrazzi, he’s a business networking guru who has topped “Who’s Who” lists in Forbes and Inc. magazine, written a NYT bestseller and  made a career of helping others and building relationships.

In the book, Ferrazzi talks about creating an Action Plan.  The Action Plan consists of two lists: one for long term goals and one for short term actions that will help you accomplish the long term goals.  (Sometimes the biggest reason we lack motivation and direction is that we haven’t taken the time to clearly articulate where we want to go.)

Here’s some questions to ask when you’re creating your Action Plan:

Where do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in one year? What actions can you take in the next 90 days to move closer to those five year/one year goal? Who do you know that can help you reach your goals? Who do you want to get to know in order to reach your goals? Most importantly, who can you mentor or whose career can you help further in the process of furthering your own career?

Confused?  Here’s a glimpse at my list and how I answered these questions:

In five years, I want to have an established, successful freelance writing career.  In one year, I want to have written at least one article for a major publication.  In the next 9o days, I want to add one clip to my writing portfolio. In order to accomplish my 90-day goal, I will need to do the following:

• Blog at least three times a week
• Identify three local, three regional and three national publications that I would like to write for
• Make a list of potential story ideas for each of those publications
• Find the contact information for certain editors at those publications
• Figure out if there are people I know who might have a connection to someone at those publications

The first publication that comes to mind is my local newspaper.  One of my co-workers used to work at the local newspaper. Action item number one will be to ask my co-worker who I should contact about freelancing at the paper.  If he gives me the name of someone specific, I will ask if it’s alright to mention HIS name to that person.  Then, I will craft an email or put in a phone call to the appropriate person at the local paper.  And just like that, I’ve made progress toward my goal.

The bottom line is that it’s never too late to start working towards your goals.  Ferrazzi made a lot of mistakes on his way to the top. I myself am nowhere near the top and have made more mistakes than I can count.  But the real mistake would be giving up.  The ones who lose, or even worse, the ones who end up spending their life doing something they’re not passionate about, are the ones who don’t try, who don’t persevere, who don’t set goals.

Image courtesy of http://www.despair.com/

Have I confessed my love of business and self-help books to you? If not, consider this my official declaration.  The latest book in my reading queue is Get Noticed…Get Referrals by Jill Lublin.

In the book, Lublin asserts that building relationships–and helping others build relationships–is the key to building your business. She says that a person who is genuinely interested in getting to know other people–regardless of what he/she might get out of it–is more likely to get hired or get referrals from the people he/she has built relationships with than someone who is only looking to get to know others because they think the connection will benefit their business. One of the key relationship building techniques Lublin suggests? Listening to others and being present in conversations.

Now, all of this seems like common sense, right? Until you put it into practice.

At church this past Sunday, I gave the notion of being present in my conversations a test run. Sadly, I was surprised how often I had to remind myself to actually listen to what the person I was talking to was saying and not look around at who was walking by or entering the building.  Even worse, I think the woman I was talking to wasn’t really listening to me either, as she herself kept pausing and looking past me while we were conversing!

What if one of us had been asking the other to enter into a multi-million dollar business deal? A bit of a stretch, I know; but chances are, we’d have missed the opportunity.

So, my challenge to myself–and all of you–this week, is to try to listen and be fully present in the conversations you are having.  Maybe you’ll make a business connection, maybe you won’t; but at least you’ll walk away knowing you were there.

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A very wise man once told me that it takes six months worth of research–or more–to really find your niche in the blogosphere and be fully prepared to launch a website.  (Thank you, Michael P., for all your coaching so far. It’s been invaluable.)

Obviously, I’ve already done the launching, so I’m now trying to backpedal and see what’s already being done by others and how I might fit in–or rather, stand out–among them.  During the “research” phase, I’m discovering some fabulous writers with brilliant minds, some of whom I’m pleased to say that I know personally and others I am thrilled to have met along the way.

I consider all of these people a “force to be reckoned with” in the online world, but rather than be intimidated by them or look at them as competition, I want to share them and what they have to say with all of you.  Believe me, the internet is a big enough place for all of us and I know you’ll benefit from reading their work just as much as I have!

Gwen Bell- In her own words, she’s an “entrepreneur, educator and speaker… partner at Kirtsy…brand enthusiast for Nintendo and part of the advisory board of Brand About Town.”  In just one short month of reading her blog and following Gwen on Twitter, I already feel more intelligent, creative and inspired.

Chris Guillebeau- A self-proclaimed non-conformist, Guillebeau is a world traveler who aims to “fight the status quo” in all he does.  I haven’t read too much of his work yet, but I love the concept of challenging the accepted norm, not to mention his last blog entry, Technology and Travel gave me more pointers about what items and tools I need to blog anytime, anywhere than any other article I’ve read to date.

Ree Drummand (a.k.a The Pioneer Woman)- A city girl turned cattle rancher’s wife, I love Ree because she makes you believe you can adapt to any circumstance–and flourish.  She’s also hilarious, artistic and extremely easy to relate to, which makes an oddly wonderful combination.  Bonus: She likes to cook (a passion we both share),  just published her own cookbook and posts lots of pictures while explaining a recipe step-by-step!

Jeff Dolan- Jeff was an acquaintance of mine from Raleigh who moved to Nashville in pursuit of his dreams.  His desire to display God’s glory through photography, videography, music, art and design are an encouragement to all who read his blog and witness his work. I feel confident that one day soon I’ll feel privileged to say that “I knew him when…”

Jeff Lail- I mentioned Jeff in my previous post, but he’s worth another mention, as he’s another one of those people I’m sure I’m gonna be proud to say that I know.  Aside from having been a really good friend to me, Jeff is an all around great guy with a passion for all things education and student affairs related.  He’s also one of the more informative Tweeters I know…way better than Ashton Kutcher, CNN or their nearly five million collective followers,  believe me!

In addition to these five folks, I’d suggest you check out the sites in my Blogroll and Etsy Shops list.  Just because I didn’t mention them by name doesn’t mean they aren’t worth your time.

Oh my gosh! It’s after midnight.  I think I’m about to turn into a pumpkin. Enjoy the list. I’ll chat with you this weekend!

I was trolling the internet, looking for something to write about tonight, when low and behold, I found Nina Sankovitch and her quest to read one book a day and blog about it for an entire year.
The entire story can be found here; but it seems like the intellectual’s version of Julie and Julia. (I loved that movie, by the way.)

My friend Maggie sent me an article called Born Cheap a few weeks ago. The article’s author asserts that whether you are a spender or a saver is a genetic trait you inherit from birth. While the entire article extols the virtues of being cheap, it ends by encouraging the reader that “whether you’re a spender or a saver, you should accept this trait rather than struggle against it—then find a way to live a financially manageable life.” I guess I’m still grappling with my genetic makeup to figure out the best way to do that…

I love reading articles like these, and to be quite honest, Mrs. Sankovitch’s year long reading binge has a certain amount of appeal to me. (Or maybe it’s just the fact that she had to hire a maid to help her out with the housework…) Unfortunately, reading is a lost art in today’s society. The death of print media is one of the biggest indicators of this fact. We read to grab the information we need and then flip the page (or more than likely, click through) to the next page.

So, in my own personal crusade to bring reading back (not to be confused with bringing sexy back…though I’d gladly do it if JT was my partner) I am starting the Happily Ever After Book Club. Every month I will announce a new book, divide the number of chapters in the book by the number of weeks in that month and commit to writing about what I’m reading about once a week. Additionally, I’d love it if you guys would join me in my venture, suggest books you’d like to read–and read with me!

Let’s start our first book in November, and let’s start “small.” I’d like to read Tim Gunn’s Guide to Quality, Taste & Style. There’s nine chapters in the book and four weeks in November–that’s two chapters the first three weeks and three chapters the last week. I know that November is the start of the holiday season, but come on, guys: It’s fashion, not rocket science!

I’ll be writing my book report every Wednesday, starting November 11, and I expect to hear from each of you who choose to read along as well. The book is available at Amazon for $12.98.
So get ready, get set…READ!!!!

1.) Rediscovering old music I’d forgotten about. (Thanks Pandora!) Check out “A Beautiful Mess” by Jason Mraz

2.) Buying the earrings I’ve been wanting from my friend Beth’s jewelry company, Lillian Ray.

3.) Learning new things at work. “The Presentation Cookbook” will help all of my fellow right-brained thinkers and “What’s With All the Dates?” will be of service to you left-brainers.

4.) Listening to online sermons from my old church in Raleigh, Providence Baptist. I highly recommend the one on Biblical Romance.

5.) Receiving my first Shop It To Me sale alert email.

Until Tomorrow,
Jennifer Lynn

For those of you who have (and somewhat regularly use) a Facebook account, you will find CNN.com’s recent article about “The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers” very entertaining. If you read the article thinking you’d never post something like that, think again–and re-read some of those status updates. Chances are there’s a little “self-promoter,” “town crier” or “sympathy baiter” in all of us!