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I’m three classes in to my first semester of teaching at a small community college on the Central Coast of California.  My students’ first official homework assignment was due last class period.  One-fourth of them failed to turn in their assignment.  None of the students who neglected their work offered any apologies or excuses.  They simply sat quietly in their desk when I asked everyone to walk to the front of the room and hand me their assignment.  (I’m old school like that.)

My type-A, perfectionistic, would-never-think-of-not-turning-in-an-assignment-personality was flabbergasted.  (That’s right. People still use the word flabbergasted.) I made it clear to all of my students  that this type of behavior was NOT acceptable in the work place and should they not have been prepared for a meeting or presentation in the “real world”, they would have been fired or in some seriously hot water with their boss.

My mini-tirade to my students about work ethic and the working world got me thinking: If I were back in college and had the perspective on life that I have now (nine years later–eek!), what would I want to know? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1.) Make friends with the people you’ll be friends with forever–not the ones who make you look cool now.

2.) Don’t be so concerned with “finding someone.”  Your future mate will come along soon enough, and it’s probably better if you’re a bit older, wiser and more mature once you meet him or her.

3.) You get out of college what you put into it.  Believe it or not, one day you might actually regret that you didn’t do the assigned reading.

4.) Do internships or get a job related to your major during the summer.  It’s the only way you’ll truly know whether or not a certain career is right for you–or not.

5.) Drunkenness is always unattractive. Period. End of sentence.

6.) Do not purchase things on credit.  In fact, don’t even get a credit card in the first place.  The mound of debt you’ll accrue is the worst buyer’s remorse ever.

7.) Decide what you believe (politically, religiously, etc) and learn why you believe it.  Ignorance is also always unattractive.

8.) Don’t be afraid of taking classes you “weren’t good at” in high school.  You CAN learn economics. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.

9.) Don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes you make, because you ARE going to make them.  Say you’re sorry.  Ask forgiveness.  Learn from the situation and move on.

10.) Choose a career path that you love, not the one that will make the most money.  You’re going to spend 40 hours a week–or more– doing whatever job you choose.  You’d better like it.

What about you, Stylegeekers? I KNOW you’ve got things to add to this list.  Share away and enjoy the pics of me during my college years!

How many times have you passed by a boutique window, seen a beautiful piece of clothing and gone inside the store to check it out first hand, only to find that the masterpiece of material would cost you more than you make in an entire paycheck?  You leave the store feeling dejected and disillusioned with all the items you DO have in your closet, focusing all your energy on the one that you can’t have.  Or, even worse, you buy the skirt, pair of shoes, dress–whatever it is–putting it on credit, of course, and telling yourself that you won’t buy anything else until you’ve paid for the thing you just bought.  (Cue buyer’s remorse.)

It’s only been a week since I’ve instituted the shopping ban and already I find myself seeing “stuff” that I want and feeling upset because I can’t have it.  Apparently, my recent cases of the greedy gimmies don’t just extend to clothing.  I saw pictures of a friend’s new house earlier today and was overcome with thoughts of how I could make MY place as cute as hers.  I thought about how to improve my house the entire way home from work; and by the time I parked my car outside my own house (which is very nicely decorated and people say is cute and homey), I felt anxious, upset and frustrated at the thought that my place isn’t as nice as someone else’s.

Fortunately, I’m in-tune enough with my thoughts and emotions to know when something is really wrong or I’ve made up my own problem and put myself in a bad mood (which, I’m sorry to say, happens more than it should).  I knew I had no one to blame but myself for tonight’s sour emotions.  So, I did what any writer in my frame of mind would do: I decided to blog about it.

Feeling less than inspired to write, however, I decided to check out a few of my favorite blogs–hoping the words would come to me.  Boy did they ever.  In fact, God couldn’t have sent the words my way any more directly.  The first blog I read was one written by my friend Jeff Dolan.  The title of the post? Weeding Your Mental Garden.  The first weed Jeff instructed me to pull from my mental garden? Ridiculous expectations a.k.a the “I wants” of life.

In his post (which is worth reading in its entirety), Jeff talks about how the weed of ridiculous expectations causes us to be discontent with everything.  Nothing and no one is ever good enough for the person whose mental garden is crowded with ridiculous expectation weeds: “We let our expectations grow unchecked for so long that things that should blow us away with gratitude only upset and frustrate us.”

I have a lovely two bedroom condo–but the weeds make me want a four bedroom house with my own backyard.  I have a closet so full of clothes I don’t have room for more–but the weeds tell me I’m not truly stylish if I don’t acquire more.  I’m blessed with two jobs;  a husband, parents, in-laws and friends who love me and a gorgeous town to live in, but the weeds tell me I don’t have enough time, my parents live too far away and this town is too small.

At what point do I (we) stop and as Jeff said, “Count (our) blessings, understand the world is not created to serve (us), and see people and things for what they are — broken and man-made”?

I know that surrendering my desire for material possessions (ok, really just clothes) is gonna be a process.  But I’m committed to doing the necessary weeding.  Are you?

I read an article in the New York Times this week about a couple in Oregon who sold almost all of their worldly possessions in an effort to live a more minimalistic lifestyle.  They went from a two bedroom apartment to a 400 square foot studio and from two cars to bikes.  There was no religious or financial motivation behind the couple’s actions, merely a desire to focus more on life experiences and relationships with others rather than the endless distractions that come along with material possessions and the desire to acquire more of them.

As a result of their efforts, the couple was actually able to save money while Logan (the husband) was working on his PHD and Tammy (the wife) was working as a freelance writer making around $30,000 a year.  They were able to pay off major debt and give their nephews and nieces money for college.  They were (and are) also able to travel more and work the hours that they want to work.

The author of the article asserts that if there’s one thing that the recession has shown us, it’s that relationships and life experiences are what make people “happy”–not material possessions.  In fact, one study showed that “wealth interfered with people’s ability to savor positive emotions and experiences, because having an embarrassment of riches reduced the ability to reap enjoyment from life’s smaller everyday pleasures, like eating a chocolate bar.”

In Matthew 19:20, Jesus says “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  I wholeheartedly believe that statement.  In fact, Hubs and I have been noticing lately, just how much the comforts of living a relatively “affluent” lifestyle (compared to people in other countries) has prevented us from serving the Lord and doing a whole bunch of other things we ought to be doing.

Instead of preparing for our bi-monthly Bible study, we watch TV.  Rather than enjoying God’s creation and going on a hike on Saturday, I shop.  Rather than working on that book I’ve been meaning to write or that web app Hubs has been meaning to develop, we mindlessly surf the internet for hours.

So, in an effort to use our time wisely, Hubs and I put a partial ban on television watching for the foreseeable future. In the past two weeks, we’ve watched only one TV program and one movie–and we’ve gotten so much done!  While I still haven’t been blogging as often as I’d like to, I’ve gotten prepared for the Small Group Communication classes I’m going to be teaching at a local community college this fall (more on that later), finished putting together a website for my mother-in-law and spent time planning a baby shower and a bridal shower I’m co-hosting this weekend.

Inspired by the NY Times article and the amount of time and productivity I’ve gained by giving up television, I’ve started to look at other areas of my life where I could stand to “give something up.”  And I keep coming back to one thing: SHOPPING.  (I can hear the gasps and whispers from here.)

Not only is the amount of money I spend on clothing a bit absurd–especially when I see people walking to the homeless shelter by my office for dinner each evening– but the amount of time that I spend planning my next purchase prevents me from doing other, more useful, things with my time.  So, I’ve decided to institute a (partial) ban on clothes shopping from now until December 1 (being sure to remove the ban six days before my birthday, of course).

I often tell myself that clothes are really a form of creativity and self-expression for me; and this (partial) ban on buying new items will give me the chance to mix and match my existing wardrobe in new ways.  Besides, I need to prove to myself that I can put down the plastic and save money!

What about you? What areas of your life can you trim some fat from?  Any of my fashion friends out there care to join me in this challenge? Let me know your thoughts and wish me luck!

*Picture courtesy of Single Parent Bible

Wow. I don’t even know how to start an entry like this.  I found out yesterday that my friend Justin’s sister died suddenly a little over 48 hours ago.  You all might “know” Justin.  He designed The Style Geek.

When someone I know–even just through mutual friends or relatives–passes away, it always causes me to reflect (as I’m sure it does many of you) on life, death and eternity.

Last night, as the girls in my Bible study and Hubs and I prayed for Justin, his family and his sister’s family (I believe she had three small children), I asked myself these questions:

• What am I currently doing to make my time here on earth count for something? Are my actions impacting people positively or negatively?
• How will people remember me after I pass away?
• Where am I going after I die? Where will I spend eternity? This question is, in my opinion, the most important one.  I have full assurance that when I die, I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ.  Praise God!

What about you? How would you answer these questions–especially the last one? Leave your answer in the comments section and if you have any questions for me about how I know for sure where I’m going after I die, don’t hesitate to ask.

Justin- You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today and for the days, weeks and months to come.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalms 34:18

Today is August 10th! While I cannot believe that summer has flown by and fall is almost here, I have to say that I am ridiculously excited about all breaking out my cardigans and boots again–especially now that I’ve taken a closer look at this fall’s fashion trends.

Every season, there’s one color that catches my eye and becomes my “it” color of the season.  This year, it’s green–in all shades, fabrics and patterns–for all different articles of clothing. Here’s a few of the pieces I’m hoping will make their way into my closet within the next few months!

J Brand Skinny Twill Cargos

At $231, these bad boys are a little more than I would normally pay for a pair of pants, but the good news is that skinny cargos are so hot this season (in any color) that other (less pricey) brands are going to have them all over the racks.  I’d suggest checking Banana Republic, Gap and Express for cheaper versions.

Long Wool Cardigan, Gap

If you haven’t guessed by now, I’m a sucker for a comfy cardigan.  I’ve been in Gap a few times the past few weeks contemplating whether or not to purchase this one.  It’s still retailing for $59.50, though and we all know that Gap throws things on sale faster than we can blink; so I think I’ll wait til it gets marked down.

Green suede pumps, Banana Republic

If there’s one thing on my fall list that I’m willing to pay more money for, it’s these. Pumps are such a classic addition to any wardrobe and won’t go out of style any time soon.  The $120 asking price for this pair from Banana Republic will more than pay for themselves over the years.

If you’re looking for a shoe with a bit more edge, try these Water Row Booties from Clarks. Retail price? $119.

Finally, if you’re not as in love with with the idea of going green as I am, why not try out the color on a scarf like this infinity loop one from Banana Republic.  The shade is the perfect transition to go from summer to fall.

Got a favorite fall color or style of your own? Share the stuff you’re planning to add to your fall wardrobe below!

Summer’s almost halfway over, and I’ll be honest, I’m already starting to think about fall fashion. Thanks to The Budget Babe, however, I think I’ll be making one last summer purchase.  Check out this amazing deal on Sarah Jessica Parker’s white Halston Heritage dress from SATC2 and then take a look at the suede clogs from Steve Madden–they might just be the perfect summer/fall transition shoe! The entire outfit costs less than $100.  Can you really pass that up??

XOXO, Macy’s, $34.99

Steve Madden “Barc” High Heel Clogs- $55.60

I’ve been blogging for almost a year now.  What started out as a Blogspot blog and a way to more fully express my thoughts, found its way to WordPress and became a brand and (potential) business.  August 24th is my official blog-o-versary and over the next month and a half, I’ll be taking some time to reflect on where I’d like The Style Geek to go in year two.

While I could look at the past year’s failures–HELLO, I haven’t posted in 19 days–I’d rather not.  Instead, I’m going to focus on the progress I’ve made over the past 12 months and set some goals for the next 12.

Speaking of goals, has anyone read Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi?  If not, buy it now and read it fast.  For those of you who don’t know Ferrazzi, he’s a business networking guru who has topped “Who’s Who” lists in Forbes and Inc. magazine, written a NYT bestseller and  made a career of helping others and building relationships.

In the book, Ferrazzi talks about creating an Action Plan.  The Action Plan consists of two lists: one for long term goals and one for short term actions that will help you accomplish the long term goals.  (Sometimes the biggest reason we lack motivation and direction is that we haven’t taken the time to clearly articulate where we want to go.)

Here’s some questions to ask when you’re creating your Action Plan:

Where do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in one year? What actions can you take in the next 90 days to move closer to those five year/one year goal? Who do you know that can help you reach your goals? Who do you want to get to know in order to reach your goals? Most importantly, who can you mentor or whose career can you help further in the process of furthering your own career?

Confused?  Here’s a glimpse at my list and how I answered these questions:

In five years, I want to have an established, successful freelance writing career.  In one year, I want to have written at least one article for a major publication.  In the next 9o days, I want to add one clip to my writing portfolio. In order to accomplish my 90-day goal, I will need to do the following:

• Blog at least three times a week
• Identify three local, three regional and three national publications that I would like to write for
• Make a list of potential story ideas for each of those publications
• Find the contact information for certain editors at those publications
• Figure out if there are people I know who might have a connection to someone at those publications

The first publication that comes to mind is my local newspaper.  One of my co-workers used to work at the local newspaper. Action item number one will be to ask my co-worker who I should contact about freelancing at the paper.  If he gives me the name of someone specific, I will ask if it’s alright to mention HIS name to that person.  Then, I will craft an email or put in a phone call to the appropriate person at the local paper.  And just like that, I’ve made progress toward my goal.

The bottom line is that it’s never too late to start working towards your goals.  Ferrazzi made a lot of mistakes on his way to the top. I myself am nowhere near the top and have made more mistakes than I can count.  But the real mistake would be giving up.  The ones who lose, or even worse, the ones who end up spending their life doing something they’re not passionate about, are the ones who don’t try, who don’t persevere, who don’t set goals.

Image courtesy of http://www.despair.com/

Just got home from a networking event for creative and marketing types. By and large, I don’t find networking events in my area to be all that productive for my personal business (people are generally too concerned with promoting themselves to care about what i do), so tonight I decided to implement the principle of being present discussed in my previous post. (Interestingly enough, Gwen referenced a post about this very same topic today.)

Lo and behold, I actually enjoyed the event much more as a result of concentrating on others instead of worrying about myself.  I also learned about a really cool wine event that I probably wouldn’t have learned about had I been talking so much.

But alas, my (improved) listening skills are not the point of this post.  This post is about image.  More specifically, it’s about how you brand yourself through your personal appearance.

Two women spoke at the event I attended.  The first woman wore a grey Banana Republic dress that I recognized from a few years back with adorable chunky beads.  She looked to be in her mid-50s, and I found myself hoping that I look like her in 20-plus years.  I listened to every word woman number one said.

The second woman who spoke wore black capri pants with horribly visible granny-panties underneath, a blue tank top that was two sizes too small, wedge sandals and a black suit coat that didn’t quite match the theme of the capris and wedgies.  Woman number two gave a nice presentation; but I found myself getting distracted by her frumpy appearance.

So ladies, gentlemen and all aspiring public speakers, here’s a lesson for you: Spend time on your outfit, not just your speech.

Need a few pointers on how to put together the right ensemble? A well-edited outfit should have the following elements:

• Fit- If you see bumps, lumps or rolls poking out from any part of your outfit, consider going up a size.  To quote my favorite style mentor, Tim Gunn, it’s about fit, not a number on a tag.
• Theme- Before you head out the door, it’s important to consider where you’re going.  You’d dress differently for a backyard bbq than you would for work or a wedding, right? RIGHT?? If your shoes say walk on the beach, your blazer says business lunch and your pants say party, you should probably consider the theme of the event your about to attend–and reconsider your outfit.

Still don’t know what to wear? Might I suggest purchasing one–or more–of the great style books on the market?

A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style by Tim Gunn

The New Secrets of Style by the editors of InStyle magazine

The Little Black Book of Style by Nina Garcia

*Picture licensed under CC license 3.0

Have I confessed my love of business and self-help books to you? If not, consider this my official declaration.  The latest book in my reading queue is Get Noticed…Get Referrals by Jill Lublin.

In the book, Lublin asserts that building relationships–and helping others build relationships–is the key to building your business. She says that a person who is genuinely interested in getting to know other people–regardless of what he/she might get out of it–is more likely to get hired or get referrals from the people he/she has built relationships with than someone who is only looking to get to know others because they think the connection will benefit their business. One of the key relationship building techniques Lublin suggests? Listening to others and being present in conversations.

Now, all of this seems like common sense, right? Until you put it into practice.

At church this past Sunday, I gave the notion of being present in my conversations a test run. Sadly, I was surprised how often I had to remind myself to actually listen to what the person I was talking to was saying and not look around at who was walking by or entering the building.  Even worse, I think the woman I was talking to wasn’t really listening to me either, as she herself kept pausing and looking past me while we were conversing!

What if one of us had been asking the other to enter into a multi-million dollar business deal? A bit of a stretch, I know; but chances are, we’d have missed the opportunity.

So, my challenge to myself–and all of you–this week, is to try to listen and be fully present in the conversations you are having.  Maybe you’ll make a business connection, maybe you won’t; but at least you’ll walk away knowing you were there.

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